Effectively Responding to Anxious "What If" Thoughts with the "So What" Mindset

This episode of Psych Hacks addresses the pervasive nature of anxious thoughts, particularly those that begin with "what if." Dr. Orion Taraban posits that behind every anxious feeling lies a "what if" thought, such as "what if I lose my job" or "what if they all think I'm stupid." The core argument is that individuals can actively resist these anxiogenic cognitions by employing a "block and replace" method. The proposed replacement thought, and indeed the recommended attitude, for "what if" is almost always some variant of "so what." The podcast distinguishes between "unpreferred emotional states" and "reality-based alternatives" in cognition. It highlights that "what if" thoughts are inherently speculative and often catastrophic, leading to anxiety. In contrast, the "so what" response is presented not as a dismissal of potential challenges, but as a reframing that acknowledges the possibility of negative outcomes while simultaneously asserting one's capacity to cope, adapt, or find alternative solutions. This isn't about ignoring problems but about shifting the internal narrative from fear-driven speculation to a more resilient, problem-solving orientation. The primary practical recommendation is to consciously cultivate the "so what" attitude. Dr. Taraban provides several concrete examples: for "what if I lose my job," the "so what" response considers it a potential "blessing in disguise" and an opportunity to find a better fit. For "what if she says no," it's reframed as "her loss" and an opening to find someone else. Similarly, for "what if I get sick," the response emphasizes past resilience and the temporary nature of discomfort. The advice is to actively try this method, transforming passive worry into an active, empowering mental exercise. The broader implication of this approach extends beyond immediate anxiety relief to fostering greater psychological resilience and self-efficacy. By consistently challenging "what if" thoughts with "so what," individuals can gradually rewire their cognitive patterns, reducing the automaticity of anxious responses. This method aligns with principles of cognitive restructuring found in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), emphasizing that while external circumstances may be uncertain, one's internal response and capacity for adaptation are within their control, leading to a more robust and less fear-driven existence.

"behind every feeling is a thought and it's often the case that behind an anxious feeling is a thought that begins with the words what if"

"becoming more mindful of the cognitions that give rise to unpreferred emotional states"

"utilizing the block and replace method to actively resist these cognitions and substitute more reality-based alternatives"

"the replacement thought for what if is almost always some variant of so what"

"what if I lose my job well so what that might be a blessing in disguise"

"if I found this job I can find another and potentially one that better suits me"

"what if she says no well so what that would be her loss"

"what if I get sick well so what it's not like I haven't gotten sick in the past I know it's not the end of the world"

"I feel bad for a certain amount of time I pass through some discomfort and I emerge more resilient on the other side"

"I will either find a way or I will make a way"