The Strategic Shift: Why Successful Men Dispense with Romance in the Sexual Marketplace

This podcast episode, hosted by Dr. Orion Terban, explores the phenomenon of why successful men often appear less romantic or 'jerks' from a woman's perspective. The core argument posits that men employ different sexual marketplace strategies based on their level of success. Unsuccessful men, who typically have more time than money, utilize 'romance' – investing time, effort, and thoughtfulness – as a compensatory strategy to attract women, as they lack the tangible resources like stability, status, or wealth that women often seek in long-term partners. This 'romance' is presented as a means to stimulate a woman's emotions when material benefits are not yet available.

The episode further explains that men generally do not inherently enjoy performing romantic gestures such as buying flowers or sending 'good morning' texts; these actions are often culturally conditioned and performed under the belief that women desire them, or as a substitute for more substantial offerings. As men achieve success, gaining money, status, and a desirable lifestyle, they observe that women respond more powerfully to these tangible benefits than to romantic overtures. This realization empowers successful men to increasingly abandon the romantic behaviors they never genuinely wanted to perform, perceiving them as 'drudgery' akin to doing laundry when one can afford a service.

A key nuance highlighted is the concept of female complicity. The podcast argues that women, by consistently choosing and dating successful men who eschew traditional romance, inadvertently reinforce this male behavior. While women may complain about the lack of flowers or romantic gestures from high-status men, they rarely leave these men for those who do offer such gestures but lack status or resources. This behavioral pattern teaches successful men that the romantic 'hoops' are no longer necessary for attracting desirable partners.

Dr. Terban offers practical advice for women, urging them to appreciate the male perspective and avoid punishing men for providing what they truly desire (status, comfort, financial security) by complaining about the absence of less impactful romantic gestures. He suggests that such complaints demotivate further effort and can lead to resentment. The broader implication is a re-evaluation of traditional romantic ideals, emphasizing the underlying strategic and resource-driven aspects of mating dynamics for both genders, and challenging women to align their stated preferences with their actual behavioral responses in the sexual marketplace.

from a woman's perspective it can seem like the more attractive a guy is the more High status better looking higher earning Etc the more difficult he is to deal with the less he's seems to care the more of an [ __ ] he seems to become

men use different strategies with women as a function of their circumstances

romance is for men that is it's a sexual strategy utilized by unsuccessful men

men don't actually want to do these things most men don't like buying flowers and candles and sending good morning texts and calling to check in about nothing and all that [ __ ] but they do it because a they think you like those things and B they don't yet have the things that you really really like

women might like the sweet romantic guys but they date and [ __ ] the men who are successful and established

as men become successful they learn the things that women actually respond to which are very different from the things that women and Society have told him women respond to

these men have learned that even though you might not love the fact that they don't buy you flowers or light candles you will still [ __ ] them and they learn this by observing your behavior ladies so you are at the very least somewhat complicit in creating the conditions you lament

one of the best uses of money is that it can liberate you from the drudgery that you'd rather not do and that's exactly what's Happening Here ladies men don't actually want to buy you flowers and send good morning texts that [ __ ] is laundry to men