Finding Your Dark Horse: An Effective Mate Selection Strategy for Women

Dr. Orion Taraban presents a strategic mate selection approach for straight women, critiquing the common practice of pursuing men who have already achieved high status, success, and resources. While these traits are inherently attractive, signaling provision and protection, the podcast highlights that such "winners" constitute a small fraction of the male population (e.g., top 20% according to Tinder data). The vast majority of women (e.g., top 78%) compete for this limited pool, leading to an extremely competitive and inefficient dating market where individual odds of success are significantly diminished.

The core distinction introduced is between these established "winners" – men who have "crossed the finish line" in the "race of life" – and "dark horses." A "dark horse" is defined as an underdog performer who possesses the inherent attributes and potential for future success but has not yet achieved widespread recognition or status. The conventional approach is likened to "hanging out at the winner's circle," where a successful man has an overwhelming choice among many competing women, making it difficult for any single woman to stand out.

The practical recommendation for women is to adopt the mindset of a "sleuth" or "bookie," conducting thorough "due diligence" to identify these high-potential "dark horses." A key indicator to look for is a man with a "detailed and reality-based plan for the future." By "placing your bet before the race is run," women can identify and partner with a man who has the makings of a future winner, thereby securing a high-quality partner without facing the intense competition associated with already established successful men. This strategy is presented as a "more reliable way of ending up with a winner."

This approach acknowledges the inherent "gamble" in mate selection but posits that the "dark horse" strategy offers significantly better odds than competing in an oversaturated market. It implicitly critiques the dynamics of modern dating, particularly as amplified by platforms like Tinder, which can exacerbate perceived status hierarchies. The broader implication is about applying strategic foresight, risk assessment, and proactive investigation to personal relationships, optimizing long-term outcomes by identifying and investing in potential rather than solely pursuing proven success, ultimately aiming for a more exclusive and fulfilling partnership.

What do women generally find attractive in men success status resources competence confidence these traits signal the ability to provide and protect and also offer a place in society.

The issue is that under most circumstances it takes a very very very long time for most men to achieve these things if they ever do.

According to tinder which actually does a lot of interesting research with its data the top 78 percent of women the vast majority of women are competing for the top 20 of men.

Most of you women are more or less hanging out at the winner's circle trying to attract the attention of the men who make it that far.

A better strategy is for you to find your dark horse.

A dark horse is a racing term for an underdog performer who ends up winning the race.

One of the best things to check for is whether he has a detailed and reality based plan for the future.

This is a more reliable way of ending up with a winner provided you know what you're looking for.

Your best bet is to actually find a guy who hasn't won yet but who has the attributes of a future winner then you get all the good stuff all to yourself.