Redefining 'Get Better' for Men: The Pursuit of Strength, Riches, and Attractiveness

This episode addresses the common exhortation for men to "get better," arguing that such advice is often vague, moralistic, and grounded in unacknowledged, gender-based moral frameworks that privilege the needs and desires of women. Dr. Taban critiques the lack of actionable specificity in such calls for improvement, highlighting that "good" and "bad" are anthropocentric terms, not objective realities, and are always tied to specific goals and value systems. He emphasizes the pain and misunderstanding that arise when these underlying frameworks are not explicitly acknowledged.

The podcast then proposes an explicit moral framework for men's self-improvement, identifying strength, wealth, and attractiveness as the closest humanly possible "inherent goods." This assertion is based on the observation that no one genuinely wishes to be weaker, poorer, or uglier, suggesting a universal desire for their opposites. The speaker explicitly states that when he advises men to "be better," he means becoming stronger, richer, and more attractive, owning this framework for its clarity and utility.

Dr. Taban argues that possession of these inherent goods directly benefits the individual, leading to greater personal satisfaction and utility. Men who are strong, rich, and attractive are presented as more useful to other men and more attractive to women, which in turn enhances their social network, status, connection, and appreciation within society. Furthermore, such men are more likely to attract and maintain stable, satisfying relationships with women, as their perceived value reduces the likelihood of relational conflict.

Finally, the episode warns against "dominant culture" voices that dismiss the pursuit of money, looks, or strength as superficial or compensatory. Dr. Taban contends that ignoring these pursuits is tantamount to passively accepting weakness, poverty, and unattractiveness, due to the natural process of entropy. He advises men to disregard these counterproductive voices, as they are not aligned with an individual man's self-interest or his ability to form meaningful relationships and find his place in the world. The episode concludes by encouraging men to begin their journey toward becoming stronger, richer, and more attractive, promising significant objective and experiential improvements in their lives and relationships over time.

"Better hardly constitutes an actionable suggestion. It's a vague moralistic word, which means that it's grounded in a specific but often uncknowledged moral framework."

"Better in these cases is generally genderbased preference masquerading as objective language."

"good and bad don't exist in objective reality. They are anthropocentric terms and they are always related to specific if unacknowledged goals and value systems."

"no one in the history of the world, no one has ever seriously prayed to be weaker, to be poorer, or to be uglier."

"When I say that men can be better, what I'm really saying is that men can be stronger, men can be richer, and men can be more attractive. That is what I'm saying. That is my explicit moral framework and I'm owning that."

"possession of these goods directly benefits their owner."

"Men who are strong, rich, and attractive are more useful to other men and more attractive to other women, which is a utility in its own right relative to men who are weak, poor, and ugly."

"when a woman perceives a man to be her best option, she is much less likely to rock the boat."

"These are all examples of entropy, and they are even more inevitable than death and taxes."

"Therefore, anyone who argues against actively becoming stronger, richer, and more attractive is actually passively arguing for you to become weaker, poorer, and uglier."