The Sex Recession: Why Modern Society is Having Less Sex and Its Profound Implications

This episode delves into the "sex recession," a significant and documented decline in sexual activity among young people, particularly millennials and Gen Z, across developed nations. Dr. Debra Soh, author of "Sexion," initially skeptical, confirms this trend with compelling data, revealing that a substantial percentage of young adults report no sexual activity in the past year. The discussion explores various contributing factors, including the proliferation of alternative sexual outlets like pornography, OnlyFans, and the emerging threat of AI companions, which are increasingly preferred over real-life intimacy. A critical distinction is made: the issue isn't merely a redistribution of sexual activity from partnered to solo or technological means, but rather an overall contraction of the aggregate "sexual activity pie." The conversation also touches upon potential biological factors, such as the role of endocrine disruptors, and highlights the multifaceted nature of the problem, linking it to a pervasive mental health crisis (anxiety, depression), general exhaustion, and a societal shift away from prioritizing sex due to the ease of alternative gratifications. The internet and social media are identified as exacerbating factors, fostering political and gender-based animosity that further complicates dating and relationship formation.

The episode extensively covers hypergamy, the evolutionary tendency for women to seek partners of equal or greater socioeconomic success. Internet culture has amplified this phenomenon, leading to unrealistic standards for men, often encapsulated by the "3 sixes rule" (6ft tall, 6-figure income, 6-inch penis). Chris Willx introduces the "tall girl problem," explaining how the increasing socioeconomic success of women, coupled with hypergamy, creates a shrinking pool of eligible male partners for high-achieving women. This imbalance leaves many men feeling invisible and many women struggling to find suitable mates. A controversial proposed solution from Soh involves re-evaluating Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives, arguing that they inadvertently penalize men and contribute to their underperformance, thereby further reducing the pool of desirable partners.

The discussion also explores the profound impact of hormonal birth control on female mating psychology. By halting ovulation, birth control blunts women's natural sexual interest and signaling, potentially altering their mate preferences (e.g., prioritizing provisioning over protection). This can lead to women being attracted to different partners when on the pill versus off, with significant implications for long-term relationships, especially when women discontinue the pill to start families. The lack of comprehensive information for young women regarding these side effects and the importance of reproductive biology is highlighted as a concern.

In broader context, the episode paints a picture of a complex interplay of biological, psychological, technological, and socioeconomic factors that are reshaping modern relationships and reproductive patterns. The speakers express concern about the long-term societal consequences if these trends continue, including potential impacts on family formation, mental well-being, and the fundamental fabric of human connection. The episode underscores the urgency of understanding these dynamics to foster healthier, more connected societies.

"one in three men and one in five women have not had sex in the past 12 months, which is a large number of people."

"everyone across the board is having less sex. So, regardless of whether you are married or in a relationship or single um it's in eastern countries, western countries, basically all developed countries and all age cohorts, but as I mentioned, most uh more specifically among young people."

"it's not that people are just preferring masturbation although I do think that is something that is happening especially when we look at pornography and yeah girlfriends and boyfriends and that type of thing. But it seems like there's something else um there's a larger phenomenon and I I also speak to the role of endocrine disruptors uh in one chapter because I think there's something else biologically happening."

"I always thought people would prefer in person real life sex, but I'm beginning to think people are actually preferring these solo methods. And it's potentially dangerous if it comes to the point where we have these surrogates like robots where you can implant an AI and they are no different from a real life person."

"Survey of Gen Z found 67% would prioritize a good night's sleep over sex."

"Hypergamy has taken on a life of its own, I think, in internet culture. So it's this I from a research perspective or scientific perspective, it's the idea that women tend to want to date or marry men who are at the same level of success or who are more successful than they are."

"I think both sexes have very unrealistic expectations of what they want. Um but like anything like evolutionary psychology and biology is not prescriptive. It's not saying this is what you should do. It's just basically generalizing or noticing trends in behavior or that explains mating psychology and like anything the internet takes it and just like runs away with it."

"men that are in relationships where they're not the primary bread winner, 50% more likely to use erectile dysfunction medication. uh man loses his job, likelihood of marriage of divorce doubles. Woman loses her job, no difference in terms of the the likelihood of divorce."

"if you're not ovulating, you're basically blunted in terms of that sexual interest and that um signaling because during that time, women have been shown in studies to wear more provocative clothing. They're more likely to want to go out to clubs and meet men, to socialize, things like that, right? To meet partners."

"The fact that your mate choices for women change when you're on the pill versus off the pill, that you seem to prioritize a little bit more for provisioning when you're on the pill and a little bit more for protection when you're off the pill. These are, you know, small effects, but they're there."