Challenging the 'Leave Incels Behind' Mentality: A Call for Compassion and Systemic Solutions

This episode critically examines the societal response to the 'incel' phenomenon, sparked by a comedy special clip from Eliza Schlesinger that advocates for abandoning individuals who struggle with dating and relationships, framing it as natural selection. The host, HealthyGamerGG, acknowledges the observation of a 'dating crisis' and a form of social natural selection but vehemently disagrees with the conclusion that these individuals should be 'left behind.' He argues that such a moralistic stance is inconsistent with how society treats other groups facing challenges, such as those with genetic conditions (cystic fibrosis), victims of self-inflicted harm (quadriplegia from a drunk jump), individuals with addictions (HIV from shared needles), or victims of domestic violence.

The core argument is that singling out incels as undeserving of help is a fundamental problem. The host highlights that many incels exhibit characteristics akin to modern body dysmorphia, focusing obsessively on perceived physical flaws. Furthermore, he points to common developmental histories involving trauma, struggles with pornography, and other addictive behaviors. He asserts that incels are often individuals who reach out for help but are met with rejection and ostracization from society, which then ironically contributes to their resentment and anti-social tendencies, as evidenced in their manifestos.

The podcast emphasizes that if a group of people consistently behaves in a particular way, it indicates a systemic issue rather than merely individual failings. Therefore, systemic problems require systemic solutions, not abandonment. The host draws parallels to past moralistic views on criminals and addicts, suggesting that a similar shift in understanding is needed for incels, recognizing the underlying developmental trajectories, trauma, and abuse that often contribute to their struggles. He questions at what point an individual loses the capacity for help, arguing that social skills can be developmentally stunted and that society has a role in social rehabilitation.

Finally, the episode offers practical recommendations for individuals struggling with inceldom, distinguishing human agency from purely biological natural selection. He strongly advises against consuming the 'trash diet of the internet,' particularly content from incel forums, which offer validation but no solutions, fostering a sense of helplessness. Instead, he advocates for self-reflection and understanding one's own mind, including ego and desires, as a path to personal growth and adaptation, even in a post-COVID social landscape. He promotes internal work and self-improvement, asserting that individuals can indeed change their circumstances and that society should not abandon them.

"If you don't have sex and the narrative of your life is that you are not having sex because women are [h__h] women are [h__h] you're a nice guy and you deserve better, that is nature's way of saying you should not be having sex for you failed to adapt and evolve and there should be no more of your kind."

"Leave them. Leave the diseased portion of your herd that is broken. They're giving you a bad name."

"I think there are a couple of fundamental problems here that we have to talk about. So, she's advocating... screw incelss, just [h__h] them. If people don't know how to date, it's adapt or die."

"We as human beings have natural selection all around us, right? So people are born with cystic fibrosis... but we don't leave those people behind."

"This is the one group of people who does not deserve help from the rest of humanity. That's the problem, right?"

"I think that a lot of incelss have a modern version of body dysmorphia. So if you look at a lot of incelss, they'll be hyperfocused on certain physical features."

"The one common thread amongst all these people is they are the people who reach out for help and society says you don't deserve it by virtue of the way that you speak by virtue of the way that you act."

"When does someone cross the line to no longer deserving help and we should let them die?"

"If society doesn't give a [h__h] about you, what do you expect that person to do in relation to society?"

"If there's a group of people who all behaves a particular way, that's a system issue, not an individual issue. And systems issues require systematic solutions, but our systematic response to this is leave them behind."

"The first is that you be careful about the trash diet of the internet. The content that you consume, take a look at what impact that has on you."

"There's something very dangerous about these places is that they tell you it's not your fault, which feels really good... but they almost always also say there's nothing you can do about it."

"The main thing that you need to understand is that your mind is working against you that you have problems with your ego. You have problems with your desire."

"What turned things around for me is recognizing how I work as a person? What is my ego? Where do desires come from? What are the influences on my mind that shape my behaviors?"